May Journal.

May. The month flew by in an absolute blur. The kind of one that at the end of the month has you feeling shocked that it's almost June, and where has the year gone? Surely I'm not the only one who feels this way?

The last month of autumn was surprisingly warm, allowing us Sydneysiders to hold onto those warmer days before the damp cold sets in. We have finally settled into our new apartment. I'd forgotten how long it takes you to settle again after a change until you've had time to process and reflect - this always takes me around three months. Some things you just have to give time.

We had friends over for dinner parties to show off our new little home. We put a white table cloth over Levi's desk and used it as a dining table, and surrounded it with the chairs we bought from Lunatiques. I broke all of the rules of cooking for a dinner party and made dishes I'd never made before like whole roasted cauliflower, tomato and eggplant rissoni and a rhubarb and pomegranate tart.

Then there were the events: seeing Meg Wolitzer speak at the Sydney Writers Festival, attending the P.E Nation fashion week show through work and being invited to the RUSSH magazine F*ck Fashion, Let's Dance party at The Lansdowne by our dear friend Victoria. 

I was also incredibly lucky to be visited by my best friend Ashleigh, her partner Adam and baby Evie. We went to The Grounds of Alexandria on a Saturday morning (and survived to tell the tale). Despite the chaos that is The Grounds, we had an amazing catch up over coffee and pastries in the courtyard, lots of cuddles with Evie and took some freshly fried doughnuts for the way home.

Finally, my sister Ruby came to stay with us for a few weeks as she does one of her uni pracs in Sydney. I was apprehensive at the thought of having to share my space with someone other than Levi after so long living in a share house, but after Ruby arrived it was like we were teenagers again living at home. We are so similar and familiar with each others dispositions and nuances that very little is hard work between us. In fact it's so easy. I'm really going to miss having her here when she leaves.

May was exactly the month needed after April. It was and is everything I want from life; focused on the people, the places and the memories created from time being well spent with one another. And good food, of course!

~ New In - The Secondhand Edition ~

I’m on a roll! There is nothing to add here this month! Although I am starting to feel the “just buy something” itch. I want to buy something, anything, but I don’t know what so I’m just observing the feeling and hoping it will pass, or that I find the something I’m looking for (a ‘going-out top’ and a weekend cross body handbag).

~ Read, watched & listened ~

The Female Persuasion by Meg Wolitzer – Like most good things I come across, I found out about Meg Wolitzer through The High Low (aka my favourite podcast in the world). Pandora and Dolly speak about Meg’s writing all of the time so I knew it would be amazing and worth checking out. To be honest, I haven’t read a lot of  ‘feminist’ reads so I was a little unsure what to expect her but once I got started, I couldn’t put this book down. I loved the characters so much (one of those ones where you wonder how they’re doing after you’ve finished) and also how the novel explored feminism in all different ways. It was both educational and an enjoyable read.

Killing Eve Season 2 – can I please have Villenelle’s wardrobe! Didn’t love the season as much as the first. Wasn’t sure about the ending, but will keep watching because I love the characters and the humour and spy drama/thriller shows!

Highly Enthused – a much needed breathe of fresh air in my podcast line up.  Although it’s a female duo, they have not blatantly ripped off The High Low’s structure and content and tried to make it their own, which so many other have done and it really makes me mad!  Highly Enthused is the kind of podcast I have been looking for. I really wanted to listen to something different but still about books, recommendations and maybe even food, and I’ve found it in spades with these two girls!  I love how passionate they are about the little things that make life richer, that’s exactly what I’m trying to be more about!


Joe Rogan’s interview with Russell Brand - my first time listening to Joe Rogan and he wasn’t what I was expecting. Throughout the  interview Joe and Russell would often differ with their views but managed to stay so respectful of one another and have a healthy, and insightful, conversation. It goes for about two hours but it’s worth it.

~ Eats ~

As mentioned above, the Good Food Rhubarb and Pomegranate Tart was so easy to make and heaven with some vanilla bean ice cream!

x.

April Journal.

April, hey. I don't want to start with the beginning of this month because it still hasn't sunk in. The world lost one of the good ones. One of the best ones. One of the ones who you look up to, want to be like, want to be their friend and are completely elated when you remember that you are indeed their friend.

It's still unfathomable to me that what happened happened. It's even more unfathomable that it happened to the least deserving person, and his most undeserving family and friends. There is no explanation. I'm not sure how you make sense of it. I still haven't been able to. I think about him every day. I think about his family and friends every, single, day.

It's hard to even admit that we said goodbye. It just can't be. It felt like yesterday since I'd last seen him, albeit it was nearly 12 months to the day ago. The farewell was solemn. The sky cried its own tears but the ocean was shined upon by the sun because that's where he was.

I have been reminded of the brevity of life. Some days I feel the fire in me, to do all of the things I want to do, to be all of the things I want to be. Other days I feel numb and can't get past the fact that 'nothing really matters'.

Mostly, I just want to be with my loved ones. I want to be with them, wholly present, enjoying the simple pleasures of our modern life. I want to remember every single moment that happened while we ate dinner, caught up over coffee or spent time together. I hug everyone a bit longer and a bit tighter because who is to say when it will be the last time. I am more self-aware than I've ever been, only wanting to give the best, most present, caring loving self to everyone I encounter.

I may not know what I want from my career, but I know what I want from life - to give and receive love. To be present. To show and feel gratitude for every second and minute that I get with those I love. To make the most of every interaction and opportunity. At the end of the day, that is all that truly matters to me.

With everything in focus, the hunt for possessions has never felt so foreign. Why would I want to waste my time doing that? Instead, I am eating, a lot, and taking in everything that surrounds me every time I go walking. I have got back into my yoga rhythm. I'm present enough to know how much joy it truly brings me instead of being something that you "do". I feel like I could do yoga all day and not be sick of it. And I've picked up reading again. It's something that makes me feel productive and productive feels good. These things, the little every day things, are all in my control and I have the choice to be mindful and observe them for how wonderful and joyful they are. I think if we're not showing gratitude for the simple things then we can't truly appreciate and enjoy the wonder of the bigger things.

-

My friend Jess and I did a market stall at Glebe Markets to sell some of our no longer needed clothes and bits and pieces. It was a beautiful, long day in the autumn sun. Tash, Nicola and Sam came to visit us. We watched all of the people come and go. After we finished our day of trade, we celebrated by catching up with our former housemates at a Mexican bar in the city. It was a really good day.

For Easter, Levi and I hired a car, rose early, and headed for nature and the ocean - Levi to surf, and me to breathe and read. We also headed into the only antique store that was open over the long weekend so we could finish furnishing our new apartment. I wasn't content to keep the TV collecting dust on the floor so we bought a mid-century Danish coffee table for the TV to sit on, and hide the hideous internet modems and cords underneath it. We also purchased four mid-century chairs which we're using as study chairs and dining chairs for when guests come over. All secondhand and vintage for extra feel-good measure.

I had a lovely girls Easter lunch that turned into a dinner. We drank organic wine and ate fresh hot cross buns from Bourke Street Bakery.

I got nostalgic for a time gone past and made a pizza from the restaurant where I spent nearly six years working as a high school and uni student.

I went and saw an indie play at a theatre in the back streets of Newtown with Katie and Tash.

For ANZAC Day, Levi and I went to the Martin Place Dawn Service for the first time. The service started at 4.30am. The crowd was large, but silent and still. It was so moving to be amongst so many peaceful and respectful people. Levi's parents were also down in Sydney and attended the service. We walked down to Circular Quay afterwards to see the sun rise and had breakfast at a touristy 24 hour restaurant. Later on in the day we walked through the Botanic Gardens and stopped in at the Plants With Bite exhibition at The Calyx. By 3pm, I was a complete zombie and passed out for a two hour nap.

To round out the month, Levi took me to see David O'Doherty at The Enmore for the Sydney Comedy Festival and I went on a $15 million super yacht for a work function.

~ New In - The Secondhand Edition ~

Four mid-century chairs
Mid-century danish coffee table

Both from Lunatiques

*Still haven't bought any new clothing!

~ Read, watched & listened ~

FINALLY FINISHED Principles by Ray Dalio - I have been reading this book on and off for a long time and I finally finished it this month. I need to go back through it and type up notes because there is so much wisdom in this book.

Ray Dalio, The Steve Jobs of Investing - The Tim Ferris Show podcast - I saw that Ray had done a podcast with Tim Ferris a couple of days after finishing the book so naturally I had to check it out and I'm glad I did. There is a lot happening in the book, a lot of dense information, so it was good to hear Ray talk at a high level without getting into too much nitty gritty.

After Life by Ricky Gervais on Netflix - I bawled from beginning to end of every episode. I also burst out laughing in every episode, which after sobbing isn't very pretty. This is the most beautiful television show I have ever watched and my life is better for having watched it. This isn't hyperbole.

Jameela Jamil on Emma Gannon's Ctrl Alt Delete podcast - I kept seeing Jameela Jamil pop up on my Instagram and wanted to know what the fuss was all about and have discovered my new idol. I've so far listened to two podcasts featuring her, have scrolled endlessly through her Instagram account, and her @iweigh account, and am teetering on the edge of a full on YouTube rabbit hole of Jameela Jamil videos. What a women, I could listen to her all day. She is so eloquent and smart and amazing!

~ Eats ~

A home made Mullumbimby Maddness (if you know, you know)

x.

March Journal.

March. Change can sometimes feel like it's taking forever to happen. Change can also come around really quickly. I've always been hesitant about change. I like to be comfortable, I like a routine. I feel secure with the things I know. I also know that without change you don't grow. Without change you stop living and just exist. Life gets a bit stagnant, almost like it's on repeat.

March, for me, was a month of change and it was very welcome. After living in a share house for five years, the only house I'd lived in since moving to Sydney, my boyfriend and I took the leap and moved into our very own place. Given we'd both been living together, in the share house, it still felt like a big, grown up, step to take. Being at the end of the month with the power of a little hindsight, I can see that it was a big step, but like most things between us, it happened naturally and to our own timing and not anyone else's.

I feel a little guilty and a bit arrogant for saying how magical and perfect it's all turned out. Our new place is perfect mix of us both. It's new but it has old charm. There is wood floors and white walls, all I've dreamed about since I left my family home shortly after my parents separated 10 years ago. There are lots of windows that we can open to let all of the fresh air in. There is plenty of natural sunlight, and just like my old family home, we have a view of treetops, buildings and the sky. In some ways I feel like I have very subconsciously manifested this apartment and the small things that already have me feeling like I'm 'home'.

This is also the first time I've ever lived with less than five people. It's a little strange to come home and not always have someone to chat to about your day, to share the kitchen with or negotiate who's having a shower and when, but I'd be lying if I didn't say I was enjoying the space. With the space, both the new physical space, and space between other humans, I feel like I have an opportunity now to be productive and not distracted. I have already been cooking more at home, taking my lunches to work more regularly, getting better at reducing my food waste and keeping everything neat, clean and tidy. It's much simpler when there is only you and one other to look after!

Moving out into our own place also meant saying goodbye to share housing. For some, saying goodbye to share housing is the sweetest thing imaginable. For me, it was very bittersweet but to counter the bitter and not let myself get too upset about the change I reached for gratitude. I'm so grateful that I had the opportunity to live in a share house for as long as I did and for all of the people that I lived with and met during that time. My life would have been all the poorer had I not got to have this experience of sharing a rundown terrace house on a leafy street in Redfern as it's given me some of the greatest friendships and shared memories that will last a lifetime. I'm truly grateful that I didn't grow up too fast and miss out on all the fun, frustrations, trials and tribulations of share housing because it was worth every second, even when we were faced with the housemate from hell.

Everyone always speaks about 'moving' with a lot animosity but I really enjoyed the process (please don't think I'm a smug bitch... it's been a long time between moves!). It was so good to do a full audit on everything I own and take stock of all of my belongings. I feel like I don't have an awful lot in comparison to other women, but I definitely did. It was especially apparent after walking all of my things up six flights of stairs. After this, I imagined straight away what having to move out in 12 months would be like, and then started to edit down my belongings from there aiming to only keep the ones that I love, or that "spark joy". I have since put together enough items to take out a market stall in a couple of weekend's time, and the rest I donated, sold on Gumtree, recycled (you can recycle old clothes at H&M now!) or for the unsalvageable, send it off to landfill.

To be completely honest with you moving wasn't the most environmentally friendly exercise. I really wanted to make our move a fresh start and it clouded my thought process at times where I should have been using what I already had instead of giving it away and buying new things. Some of it was unavoidable, like purchasing a new mattress and then dealing with all of the packaging that comes with it. At the end of the day, I think we met in the middle. We bought a lot of the big ticket items secondhand (lounge, fridge, desk, barstools, and a storage trolley for the bathroom) and used the book cases and desk chair we already had. We did buy a new rug for the lounge room as it was very echo-y, and a few things for the kitchen: solid base fry pan, stovetop kettle, baking dish, mixing bowl, cutlery, bowls and glasses. Everything else we kept from the old place. Of all of the new things we bought, we decided on those items together, as a couple, so I believe we will have them for a long time to come.

-

Due to the move, my regular yoga practice took a hit. I didn't practice for over two weeks because of the constant disruption that is ending one lease and starting another. I've redeemed myself and have been twice this week and am going to try and go every day in April. Wish me luck!

Same again with meditation... I do it one day, and then the next day I'm lazy to get up and do it and then the next thing you know it's a week later and I do it again! It's becoming apparent to me that I lack a bit of self discipline...


~ New In - The Secondhand Edition ~

Ikea Lounge chair (Facebook Marketplace)
Haier Fridge (Gumtree)
Matt Blatt Bar stools (Gumtree)
Ikea Desk (Gumtree)
Ikea storage trolley (Gumtree)

*Haven't bought any new clothes since January!

~ Read, watched & listened ~

Loving Trash is for Tossers website. So many great tips and tricks there for reducing waste!

How to handle your Saturn Rising by Anna Harrison for RUSSH (slightly freaking out about this)

Sarah Wilson's kitchen waste hacks on Good Food

That's all for this month. It was a big, busy blur and I'm exhausted. 

x.

February Journal.

February. There is a cool change in the morning and late evening air. It lingers and you know what comes next, but you're just not ready to let go of summer just yet.

The month has been a big, fun blur. It started by farewelling a good friend who is off on her own adventure on the other side of the world. The goodbye closes out a chapter in my life that I'll always look back at with rose coloured glasses because they very may well be 'the good old days' but who knows.  It feels bittersweet to leave those days of humour, heartache, and revelry, but I also know there are many wonderful things that are unfolding for me. At the moment, the page is being turned, and in the next month or so the new chapter will begin.

This month my best friend had her first baby, a little girl. Seeing my friend, who couldn't believe she was pregnant when she found out, to now being an incredibly easy going, fuss free, confident new mum has been an incredible experience. I am once again reminded how women are incredibly strong, resilient and adaptable. They never cease to amaze.

My sister turned 23 and my Dad turned 59 within the same week. We celebrated my sisters birthday listening to a covers band, eating fresh pizza and drinking endless espresso martinis at a grungy bar in a back street. Dad's birthday celebration was a seafood buffet, which if you knew him, you knew he loved every minute of that.

Sydney's summer has finished up early. The temperature has dropped off and we've had lots of rainy days, so unfortunately there is no holding onto those summer days as we transition into autumn, in a week no less!

-

I have been going to yoga as often as I can. I am well and truly, deeply, in love with the practice. It's always a challenge, some days I feel like I'm getting better, and I always leave feeling a million times better than I did when I entered the room.

Although I have fallen off the wagon of daily meditation and need to be more disciplined around this practice. It's easy to think because it's only 10 minutes a day that it's not worth doing, but it most definitely is. I notice a huge change in my focus and concentration, and lack of it, on the days that I do and don't meditate. The days that I meditate are clear, focused and calm - nothing stresses me out, there is no little rushes of anxiety. I'm so incredibly stable. It's wonderful.

-

In other environmentally friendly news, I've taken my period completely waste free. I know that's probably too much information for the internet, but I'm really proud of it. I've invested in a menstrual cup, which has been game changing, and a pair of Thinx (period underwear) after being 'influenced' by one of my favourite green Instagrammer's Venetia Falconer. I honestly feel so proud for having implemented these changes because they have not only improved the dreaded time of month, I'm no longer contributing piles and piles of waste to landfill or spending at least $20 every month on single use pads and tampons that all come covered individually in plastic.

~ New In - The Secondhand Edition (occasionally feat. new enviro friendly products) ~

Who Gives A Crap box of toilet paper

~ Read, watched & listened ~

The Cry (ABC) - LOVED! I love a psychological thriller! This one was especially dark, sinister and sometimes hard to watch but I particularly loved the beautiful scenic backdrops of Australia and Scotland. The whole cast is fabulous too.

Call My Agent! (Netflix) - A French television series on Netflix about a busy talent management firm who have to please their actor clients, whilst keeping their agency running. It's very funny and I think I enjoy it that bit more as it's a similar industry to what I work in. I can relate to a lot.

The Girls - Emma Cline - Finally finished this book after what felt like months. I'm really not a good consistent reader, still despite wanting to be. This book was a bit of a slow burn, mostly because it was a bit wordy, but I did really like it in the end. The novel is set in the late 1960s California and it loosely mirrors the Manson Family cult.

x.